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Level 1 (23)
- The Testimony of Faith
- An Introduction to Pillars of Islam and Articles of Faith (part 1 of 2)
- An Introduction to Pillars of Islam and Articles of Faith (part 2 of 2)
- Some Common Questions by Recent Converts
- Importance of Seeking Knowledge
- Paradise (part 1 of 2)
- Paradise (part 2 of 2)
- The Night Journey
- How to Pray for a Recent Convert(part 1 of 2)
- How to Pray for a Recent Convert (part 2 of 2)
- Breaking the News to Family (part 1 of 2)
- Breaking the News to family (part 2 of 2)
- Getting Adjusted To the Muslim Community
- Keeping Good Company
- Belief in Allah (part 1 of 2): The Categories of Tawheed
- Belief in Allah (part 2 of 2): Shirk, the Opposite of Tawheed
- Belief in Prophets
- Belief in Scriptures
- Belief in Angels
- Belief in the Day of Judgment
- Belief in Divine Decree (part 1 of 2)
- Belief in Divine Decree (part 2 of 2)
- Study Methodology for a New Muslim
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Level 2 (25)
- Let’s Meet Muhammad (part 1 of 2)
- Let’s Meet Muhammad (part 2 of 2)
- Preservation of the Holy Quran
- The Importance of Prayer (Salah)
- Etiquette of the Ritual Bath (Ghusl)
- Ablution (Wudoo)
- Prayer for Beginners (part 1 of 2): Beforeyou Pray
- Prayer for Beginners (part 2 of 2): A Description ofthe Prayer
- Spiritual Benefits of Prayer
- Medical Benefits of Prayer
- Manners of Relieving Oneself
- Menstruation
- Introduction to Dietary Laws in Islam
- An Introduction To Muslim Family (part 1 of 2)
- An Introduction To Muslim Family (part 2 of 2)
- Love of God and How to achieve it (part 1 of 2)
- Love of God and How to achieve it (part 2 of 2)
- An Introduction to Fasting
- How to Fast
- Eid and End of Ramadan
- Where Is Allah?
- Abraham (part 1 of 2)
- Abraham (part 2 of 2)
- Simple Explanation of Surah Al-Fatiha
- Simple Explanation of Three Short Surahs of Quran
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Level 3 (30)
- Beginners Guide to the Quran (part 1 of 3)
- Beginners Guide to the Quran (part 2of 3)
- Beginners Guide to the Quran (part 3 of 3)
- Beginners Guide to Hadith & Sunnah
- The Importance of Prayer
- Pre-requisites of Prayer
- Hygiene in Islam
- Bathing (Ghusl)
- Ablution (Wudoo)
- Performing Two Units of Prayer
- Performing Three Units of Prayer
- Performing Four Units of Prayer
- General Points About Prayer
- A Day in the life of a Muslim (part 1 of 2): From Waking uptill late Morning
- A day in the life of a Muslim (part 2 of 2): From Noon to Bed
- Fate of Non-Muslims
- Repentance (part 1 of 3): Door to Salvation
- Repentance (part 2 of 3): Conditions of Repentance
- Repentance (part 3 of 3): Prayers of Repentance
- Can We See Allah?
- Preservation of Sunnah (part 1 of 4)
- Preservation of Sunnah (part 2 of 4)
- Preservation of Sunnah (part 3 of 4)
- Preservation of Sunnah (part 4 of 4)
- Eating – The Islamic Way (part 1 of 2)
- Eating – The Islamic Way (part 2 of 2)
- Simple Explanation of Quran’s Greatest Verse: Aaya tul-Kursi
- Wiping Over Socks, Making Up Prayers, and Prayer of a Traveler
- Omens
- Charms and Amulets
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Level 4 (30)
- Adhan (part 1 of 2): The Call to Prayer
- Adhan (part 2 of 2): The Call to Prayer
- Shirk & its Types (part 1 of 3)
- Shirk & its Types (part 2 of 3)
- Shirk & its Types (part 3 of 3)
- Recommended Acts of Ritual Bath (Ghusl)
- Reflections on Surah al-Fatiha (part 1 of 3)
- Reflections on Surah al-Fatiha (part 2 of 3)
- Reflections on Surah al-Fatiha (part 3 of 3)
- Dry Ablution (Tayammum)
- Introduction to Sects (part 1 of 2)
- Introduction to Sects (part 2 of 2)
- Protection from Evil (part 1 of 2)
- Protection from Evil (part 2 of 2)
- Perfecting Our Character
- Introduction to the Purification of the Soul (part 1 of 2)
- Introduction to the Purification of the Soul (part 2 of 2)
- The Islamic Dress Code (part 1 of 3)
- The Islamic Dress Code (part 2 of 3): Awrah & Mahrams
- The Islamic Dress Code (part 3 of 3): Prayer & Wisdom
- Satan: Humankind’s Worst Enemy (part 1 of 2)
- Satan: Humankind’s Worst Enemy (part 2 of 2)
- Supplication (part 1 of 2)
- Supplication (part 2 of 2)
- The Mercy of Allah (part 1 of 2)
- The Mercy of Allah (part 2 of 2)
- Role Models in Islam (part 1 of 2): TheFirst Generation of Muslims
- Role Models in Islam (part 2 of 2)
- Trials and Tribulations after Conversion (part 1 of 2): Allah’smercy is embedded in the difficulties of life
- Trials and Tribulations after Conversion (part 2 of 2)
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Level 5 (29)
- Manners of Attending a Mosque (part 1 of 2)
- Manners of Attending a Mosque (part 2 of 2)
- Good Habits for New Muslims to Develop
- Glimpses from the Life of Prophet Noah
- Friday Prayer (part 1 of 2)
- Friday Prayer (part 2 of 2)
- Glimpses from the Life of Prophet Ibrahim
- Marriage Advice (part 1 of 2)
- Marriage Advice (part 2 of 2): Practical Steps
- Rights & Responsibilities of Husbands & Wives
- The Nuts & Bolts of an Islamic Marriage
- Glimpses from the Life of Prophet Lot
- How to Deal with Sadness and Worry (part 1 of 2): Patience, Gratitude and Trust
- How to Deal with Sadness and Worry (part 2 of 2): Establish a relationship with Allah
- Glimpses from the Life of Prophet Yusuf
- Istikharah Prayer
- Glimpses from the Life of Prophet Ayub
- Easy Guide to Zakah (part 1 of 2)
- Easy Guide to Zakah (part 2 of 2)
- Glimpses from the Life of Prophet Musa
- Should I Change My Name?
- Glimpses from the Life of Prophet Isa
- Dealing with Doubts
- A Brief Biography of Prophet Muhammad (part1 of 2): The Meccan Period
- A Brief Biography of Prophet Muhammad (part 2 of 2): TheMadinan Period
- Drugs, Alcohol, & Gambling (part 1 of 2)
- Drugs, Alcohol, & Gambling (part 2 of 2)
- World of Jinn (part 1 of 2)
- World of Jinn (part 2 of 2)
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Level 6 (27)
- Voluntary Prayers
- Treatment of Animals
- Lying, Backbiting and Slander (part 1 of 2)
- Lying, Backbiting and Slander (part 2 of 2)
- Increasing Faith (part 1 of 2): Why faith is not always at asteady level
- Increasing Faith (part 2 of 2): Increase your faith (Imaan)and earn rewards
- Voluntary Fasts
- Signs of the Day of Judgment (part 1 of 2): The Minor Signs
- Signs of the Day of Judgment (part 2 of 2): The Major Signs
- Adultery, Fornication, & Pornography (part 1 of 2)
- Adultery, Fornication, & Pornography (part 2 of 2)
- Islamic Guidelines for Gender Interactions(part 1 of 2)
- Islamic Guidelines for Gender Interactions (part 2 of 2)
- Introduction to Shariah (part 1 of 2)
- Introduction to Shariah (part 2 of 2)
- Acts that Correspond to Human Nature (Sunan ul-Fitrah)
- Eid ul-Adha from A to Z (part 1 of 3)
- Eid ul-Adha from A to Z (part 2 of 3)
- Eid ul-Adha from A to Z (part 3 of 3)
- Innovation in Islam (part 1 of 2): Two Types of Bidah
- Innovation in Islam (part 2 of 2): Is this a bidah?
- Ramadan: The Last Ten Nights
- Umrah (part 1 of 2)
- Umrah (part 2 of 2)
- Concept of Sins in Islam (part 1 of 3)
- Concept of Sins in Islam (part 2 of 3)
- Concept of Sins in Islam (part 3 of 3)
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Level 7 (30)
- Parenting in Islam (part 1 of 2)
- Parenting in Islam (part 2 of 2)
- Major Sins in Islam (part 1 of 2): What is aMajor Sin?
- Major Sins in Islam (part 2 of 2): Major Sins and How toRepent from Them
- The Pilgrimage (Hajj) (part 1 of 3)
- The Pilgrimage (Hajj) (part 2 of 3)
- The Pilgrimage (Hajj) (part 3 of 3)
- The Rightly Guided Caliphs: Abu Bakr (part 1 of 2)
- The Rightly Guided Caliphs: Abu Bakr (part 2 of 2)
- The Rightly Guided Caliphs: Umar ibn Al-Khattab (part 1 of 2)
- The Rightly Guided Caliphs: Umar ibn Al-Khattab (part 2 of 2)
- The Rightly Guided Caliphs: Uthman ibn Affan (Part 1 of 2)
- The Rightly Guided Caliphs: Uthman ibn Affan (part 2 of 2)
- The Rightly Guided Caliphs: Ali ibn AbiTalib (part 1 of 2)
- The Rightly Guided Caliphs: Ali ibn Abi Talib (part 2 of 2)
- Events on the Day of Judgment (part 1 of 3): The Day Begins
- Events on the Day of Judgment (part 2 of 3):Before the Judgment
- Events on the Day of Judgment (part 3 of 3): Judgment Begins
- Interest in Islam (part 1 of 2)
- Interest in Islam (part 2 of 2)
- An Explanation of Surah Al-Asr
- The Questioning in the Grave (part 1 of 2): Death is not theEnd
- The Questioning in the Grave (part 2 of 2): Your Place untilthe Day of Judgment
- The Fruits of Taqwa (part 1 of 2)
- The Fruits of Taqwa (part 2 of 2)
- An Explanation of Surah Al-Ikhlas
- The Rights of Neighbours in Islam (part 1 of 2): The KindTreatment of Neighbours
- The Rights of Neighbours in Islam (part 2 of 2): Neighbours -Good and Bad
- Those Shaded when there is no Shade (part 1 of 2): Allah’sMercy made Manifest
- Those Shaded when there is no Shade (part 2 of 2): Strivingto be Shaded
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Level 8 (29)
- Sincerity in Worship: What is Ikhlas? (part 1 of 2)
- Sincerity in Worship: Ikhlas vs. Riyaa(part 2 of 2)
- Lawful Earning
- The Companions of Prophet Muhammad: Salman Al-Farsi
- The Companions of Prophet Muhammad: Bilal ibn Rabah
- The Companions of Prophet Muhammad: Ammar ibn Yassir
- The Companions of Prophet Muhammad: Zayd ibn Thabit
- The Companions of Prophet Muhammad: Abu Hurayrah
- Islamic Terms (part 1 of 2)
- Islamic Terms (part 2 of 2)
- Khushoo in Prayer
- Inviting Non-Muslims to the Right Path (part 1 of 3): Deliverthe Message in the Best Way Possible
- Inviting Non-Muslims to the Right Path (part 2 of 3): Tawheed First
- Inviting Non-Muslims to the Right Path (part 3 of 3): Inviting Family, Friends and Colleagues
- Trust & Reliance in Allah
- Who Is a Good Friend? (part 1 of 2)
- Who Is a Good Friend? (Part 2 of 2)
- Pride and Arrogance
- The Mothers of the Believers (part 1 of 2): Who are theMothers of the Believers?
- The Mothers of the Believers (part 2 of 2): Altruism & Alliances
- Getting Involved in the Muslim Community
- Ummah: The Muslim Nation
- Simplified Rules of Islamic Divorce (part 1 of 2)
- Simplified Rules of Islamic Divorce (part 2 of 2)
- The Role of a Muslim Scholar (part 1 of 2)
- The Role of a Muslim Scholar (part 2 of 2)
- The Benefits of Being a Muslim
- Sacred Cities; Mecca, Medina, & Jerusalem (part 1 of 2)
- Sacred Cities; Mecca, Medina, & Jerusalem (part 2 of 2)
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Level 9 (30)
- Prayers – Advanced (part 1 of 2)
- Prayers - Advanced (part 2 of 2)
- The Purpose of Life
- Why & How to Learn the Quran (part 1 of 2)
- Why & How to Learn the Quran (part 2 of 2)
- Miracles of the Prophets
- Meat of the People of the Book (part 1 of 2)
- Meat of the People of the Book (part 2 of 2)
- Dhikr (Remembering Allah): Meaning & Blessings (part1 of 2)
- Dhikr (Remembering Allah): Meaning & Blessings (part 2 of2)
- Intercession on Judgment Day (part 1 of 2)
- Intercession on Judgment Day (part 2 of 2)
- Virtues of the Quran (part 1 of 2)
- Virtues of the Quran (part 2 of 2)
- Good Morals (part 1 of 2)
- Good Morals (part 2 of 2)
- The Islamic Golden Age (part 1 of 2)
- The Islamic Golden Age (part 2 of 2)
- Social Media in Islam
- Leisure, Fun and Entertainment
- Astrology and Fortune-telling
- Miracles of Prophet Muhammad (part 1 of 2)
- Miracles of Prophet Muhammad (part 2 of 2)
- Bad Morals to Stay Away From (part 1 of 2)
- Bad Morals to Stay Away From (part 2 of 2)
- The Spiritual Benefits of Fasting and Charity
- Dream Interpretation
- Detailed Biography of Prophet Muhammad - Meccan Period (part 1 of 3)
- Detailed Biography of Prophet Muhammad - Meccan Period (part 2of 3)
- Detailed Biography of Prophet Muhammad - Meccan Period (part3 of 3)
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Level 10 (26)
- What is Jihad?
- Prophet Adam: Beginning of Humankind (part 1 of 2)
- Prophet Adam: Beginning of Humankind (part 2 of 2)
- An Explanation of Surah Az-Zalzalah
- Morals of Prophet Muhammad (part 1 of 2)
- Morals of Prophet Muhammad (part 2 of 2)
- Preserving the Environment
- Crime and Punishment in Islam (part 1 of 2)
- Crime and Punishment in Islam (part 2 of 2)
- Prostration of Forgetfulness
- Introduction to Hadith Terminology
- Detailed Biography of Prophet Muhammad - Madinan Period (part1 of 3)
- Detailed Biography of Prophet Muhammad - Madinan Period (part2 of 3)
- Detailed Biography of Prophet Muhammad - Madinan Period (part 3 of 3)
- Story of Creation (part 1 of 2)
- Story of Creation (part 2 of 2)
- Funeral Rites (part 1 of 2)
- Funeral Rites (part 2 of 2)
- Islamic Wills and Inheritance (part 1 of 2)
- Islamic Wills and Inheritance (part 2 of 2)
- Prophetic Narrations: Sincerity
- Understanding Media Stereotyping
- Health and Fitness (part 1 of 2)
- Health and Fitness (part 2 of 2)
- Intimate Issues
- Islam Began as Something Strange
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Islamic Guidelines for Gender Interactions (part 2 of 2)
Description: The lesson focuses on setting boundaries between men and women as defined by Allah to protect us and to keep our hearts and thoughts pure.
By Imam Mufti (© 2013 NewMuslims.com)
Published on 03 Jun 2013 - Last modified on 25 Jun 2019
Printed: 2,446 - Emailed: 4 - Viewed: 41,085 (daily average: 10)
Objectives:
·To learn about the three types of forbidden ikhtilaat in Islam.
·To learn four guidelines to be observed when interacting with the opposite gender.
Arabic Terms:
·Ikhtilaat - physical presence of men and women at one place.
·Khalwah – a man being alone with a non-mahram woman.
·Mahram – a person, man or woman related to a particular individual by blood, marriage or breastfeeding. One he or she is not permitted to marry, such as the father, nephew, uncle, etc
How do people slip into adultery? Why do office romances take place? How do married men get romantically involved with another woman? The simple answer is that it is a slow process of boundary-less decisions. It is a gradual thing. Imagine a little wall all around you, with a gate. Your heart lives inside the wall and Allah has told you how to control the gate. Bad things happen when you either do not know what Allah has told you or are careless about what goes in and what goes out of that gate.
There are three forms of ikhtilaat or intermixing that are forbidden:
First, the touch is a form of non-verbal communication. Islam frowns upon any form of physical contact or touching between men and non-mahram women. The Prophet, may Allah praise him, said: “I do not shake hands with women.” (Muwatta, Sunan Tirmidhi, Nasai, Ibn Majah)
He also said: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a needle of iron, it would be better for him than touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” (at-Tabarani) This would include situations where men and women are close enough to lead to physical contact.
Now, there might be an unavoidable situation or demands of a profession like a nurse touching a male patient or crowding during Hajj. Get clarity on them by referring to a knowledgeable scholar of Islam. The general rule is clear and has been explained.
Second, being alone with a non-mahram woman. It’s known as khalwah. The Prophet of Islam said, “Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them.”
Khalwah takes place when one or more men are alone with a single non-mahram woman in a place where no one can see them. If there are two women and a man, this is not khalwah. Whether something untoward happens or not is not the point, it is still a sin. Seclusion of this type is still a sin no matter what happens as a result. It still corrodes and is bad for one’s intention.
For example, don’t be in the office alone with a man. Either leave or ask another female co-worker to stay.
Third, a man being with a non-mahram woman in one place without khalwah, but social controls and restrictions are relaxed and inhibitions are dampened. The same can be said for any repeated acquaintance between men and women. Repeated meetings break down barriers and allow opportunities for a relationship to develop.
Two points must be understood here:
1. There are situations and places we control and there are some we don’t. We might be excused for what lies outside of our control, and we should ask Allah for His forgiveness. At the same time we are responsible for the places we control.
2. How should we act in places we do not control? What are the rules of behavior for a Muslim woman when she meets a man? How should Muslim men and women set boundaries with the opposite gender? Boundaries by virtue of their purpose indicate a clear line of separation. With this in mind, what is the clear line of separation in our behavior with colleagues or fellow students of the opposite gender? There are four guidelines:
1. Eye Contact
Lower the gaze, limit eye contact, and obviously do not exchange admiring glances. Allah tells us in the Quran,
“Tell the believing men that they should lower their gazes and guard their chastity. This is purer for them. Allah is informed of what they do (He knows the inclinations of the heart and the secretive glances that men cast). And tell the believing women that they should lower their gazes and preserve their chastity.” (Quran 24:30-31)
2. Dress
Both men and women should maintain the Islamic dress code.[1]
“…they (women) must not expose (anything that reveals) their beauty, except what becomes apparent of it (the outer garment which obviously cannot be concealed when a woman leaves her home). And they should wear their scarves over their bosoms (to cover their heads and breasts)…” (Quran 24:31)
3. Body Language
Be dignified in your body language. Watch your movement, gestures, and postures. Allah says in the Quran,
“…they (women) should not strike their feet on the ground to reveal the beauties (jewellery) that they conceal (they should walk in a manner that does not cause their jewellery to jingle and attract attention)…” (Quran 24:31)
4. Tone of Voice
Use a serious tone of voice and expression. Like a spoon of sugar can encourage a child to take bad tasting medicine, so can sweet words seduce a person from the opposite gender. You do not have to be rude, but speak in a “business like” tone. Your speech should be direct and to the point so that no desire is aroused in the person. Allah says in the Quran,
“…do not speak in lowered tones (with a sweet voice) lest he in whose heart is a disease of lust should be moved with desire. And speak in a befitting manner.” (Quran 33:32)
In practical terms: don’t flirt, make crude jokes, touch, giggle, use suggestive body-language and avoid having a relaxed, informal, social conversation.
Footnotes:
[1] For more information on this, please see: (http://www.newmuslims.com/lessons/135/) [3 parts]
Previous Lesson: Islamic Guidelines for Gender Interactions(part 1 of 2)
Next Lesson: Introduction to Shariah (part 1 of 2)
- Voluntary Prayers
- Treatment of Animals
- Lying, Backbiting and Slander (part 1 of 2)
- Lying, Backbiting and Slander (part 2 of 2)
- Increasing Faith (part 1 of 2): Why faith is not always at asteady level
- Increasing Faith (part 2 of 2): Increase your faith (Imaan)and earn rewards
- Voluntary Fasts
- Signs of the Day of Judgment (part 1 of 2): The Minor Signs
- Signs of the Day of Judgment (part 2 of 2): The Major Signs
- Adultery, Fornication, & Pornography (part 1 of 2)
- Adultery, Fornication, & Pornography (part 2 of 2)
- Islamic Guidelines for Gender Interactions(part 1 of 2)
- Islamic Guidelines for Gender Interactions (part 2 of 2)
- Introduction to Shariah (part 1 of 2)
- Introduction to Shariah (part 2 of 2)
- Acts that Correspond to Human Nature (Sunan ul-Fitrah)
- Eid ul-Adha from A to Z (part 1 of 3)
- Eid ul-Adha from A to Z (part 2 of 3)
- Eid ul-Adha from A to Z (part 3 of 3)
- Innovation in Islam (part 1 of 2): Two Types of Bidah
- Innovation in Islam (part 2 of 2): Is this a bidah?
- Ramadan: The Last Ten Nights
- Umrah (part 1 of 2)
- Umrah (part 2 of 2)
- Concept of Sins in Islam (part 1 of 3)
- Concept of Sins in Islam (part 2 of 3)
- Concept of Sins in Islam (part 3 of 3)
Islamic Guidelines for Gender Interactions (part 2 of 2)
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